♡Dear Diary ̳ ៱ᆺ៱ ̳ ∫🎀September 27, 2022🎀
Ah hewwu, its been a while hasn't it!
Disney was absolutley incredible as always, ate a bunch of deliciously adorable food and the lines were suprsingly not bad at all (I'm talking no more than a 30 minutes wait for anything!!!).
I have also decided that I will likely be cutting a few inches off my hair (my hair is about 35 inches now) because it has just gotten so long to the point of inconvenience and also I live in Florida where it rarely dips under 85 degrees. On top of that, when you hair is just so long and thick its nearly impossible to style it or do anything fun with it and at the end of the day it will always grow back! I dropped the idea of going fully blonde as I realized I do not want to sacrifice my hairs health in exchange, my last bleaching of my money pieces we went white blonde which was my goal but I have unfortunately had a lot of breakage the past few weeks and have decided its simply not worth it. I may do a deep chocolate cherry tint instead on my nonbleached areas and possible a soft pink on my money pieces with ashy roots to begin the grow out process but I have a few weeks prior to my next hair appt to change my mind lol.
On a seperate topic, my brother in law proposed to his girlfriend over the weekend which took the entire family and their friend group for a whirl, it was really unexpected honestly although she did have a gut feeling about it happening prior but its nice that what she wanted happened for her. I wish I could be more excited for her but her ring ended up being quite a bit similar to what my husband had gotten me, mind you I do not have the run of the mill enagement ring and nothing that is even trending right now. I requested something unique and special because that is on par with my personality. I have an absolutley beatiful and large heirloom quality oval opal in a vintage theme surrounded by white diamonds with a white gold band which is truly one of a kind, I did not know anyone with my kind of ring and I absolutley wanted to keep it that way. She got an oval opal as well with very similar setting although there is a bit of a size difference between her and mine but....... It may seem immature or childish of me but I discussed my feelings with many of my friends and they actually all seem to believe I undereacted and that it is actually quite a big deal. Would be one thing if we were acquintances but we will now eventually be sisters-in-law... I really truly am not thrilled about the fact that we slightly match at all. My husband and I are reaching our 1 year of marriage anniversary and we had gotten engaged June of last year so its not like it was coincidental. Upon him and I discussing we remembered that when we returned from our trip she requested to see my ring and had turned to her now fiance and said "Look! She got an opal!!" The more I dwell on it the more I get irritated, the similarities are there and even my husband's friends pointed it out... and if MEN notice... that is sooo telling (not to generalize of course but lets be honest here, they typically aren't as detail oriented or would see it as something to point out). My husband already told me he would upgrade me regardless but it really comes down to just being disrespectful to my husband and I at this point. Perhaps I will eventually get over it, perhaps I won't. I brought up my feelings to her (this conversation was acutally led by her as I did not have intentions on bringing it up at all honestly) and I have to say she really seemed not to care and responded with a "I'm sorry you feel that way" like??????? I could not possibly think of an even worse reponse which only further fueled my irritation towards the ordeal... but whatever... I guess. It is what it is.
🎀August 18, 2022🎀
Alrighty! So slight life update~
I've decided for my hair appt Caturday I will just get my roots redone platinum and keep the same style I have currently since I am off on socails rn and I wouldn't be able to flex a switch up.
Then at my next hair appt hopefully in October I decided I will actually do the pink and brown look and THEN see how I feel and decide if I want to damage my hair and lose some inches to go blonde!
ORRR at the back of my head and legit before every appt ever I have a little voice screaming at me to go back to my classic blue black hair that I rocked for basically almost all my life... its just so *chef kiss* and a lot more low maint and ultimately a loooooot healthier for my hair since I have like 43 inches of growth rn lol
Will post pics wif my fresh roots once done kekeke~
ALSOOOOO Disney trip not this weekend but the following! My bestie and I are going for 3 days since we have a long weekend and want to use our Annual Passholder perks before they expire.
We plan on going to Animal Kingdom with EPCOT at night to check out the food and wine festival goodies, then Hollywood Studios the next day and again finishing up at the food and wine fesival to try out the things we missed the prior day and then on our final day we are going to Magic Kingdom!
🎀August 11, 2022🎀
URG my hair appt is next Saturday and I still have no idea what to do!!!
Currently I have platinum blonde money pieces/bangs with my natural hair color in the back which is essentially pitch black plus hair tinsel but... I feel like it may be time for a change?
I've done honey blonde, baby pink, fuschia already (all pictures below plus my current hair) and I'm honestly verrrry tempted to go back to pink OR perhaps pink and brown like chupa chups lolipops???
ORRRR maybe I should slowly go fully blonde? I feel like its a rite of passage being latina and asian so... much to think....
🎀August 10, 2022🎀
Really sucks that my own mother who I solely support and take care of (been doing this for about 5+ years) reduced my trauma to being a result of me dressing ~provocative~...
I was in the kitchen prepping a snack and my mom passed by and asked me how the show went. I proceeded to have a total break down and told her what had happened through rivers of tears and the first thing she said to me was "You need to dress more conservativley." like... HELLOOOO?!??!?!? READ the ROOM!!! I flipped out and explained to her how inapprpriate and wrong her comment was which was just as good as me talking to a wall. Sometimes I don't even know why I try with her honestly.
BUT ANYWAYS!!! I don't want to end yet another diary post on a sad note so I'll list out my goals for this month: dust off my sewing machine and refresh my memory on how to make jumbo scrunchies and also finally attempt creating a dress, work out at least 3-4 days a week/focus on eating intuitively and list at least 15 clothing items on my Depop store.
Also very excited for the leftover sesame chicken and beef lo mein sitting in da fridge for me at home for dinner ╰(▔∀▔)╯ which I'll nom on while I watch the new episode of Only Murders in the Building kekekeke (Selena Gomez really has pleasantly suprised me in this role btw).
🎀August 8, 2022🎀
TW: s*xual assault & su*cide
Friday went horribly.
My husband and I went downtown about an hour before the show to get some Sushi Song (which was delicious as always) and a preshow drink. We hopped into the HUGE line to get in (literally I have never seen the line so insane, not even for Mad Decent) and waited. Once we were in we claimed out spot by the front of the pit. Last DGD concert I had went with my friends and got seperated, ended up in the pit solo and had a total blast. This concert... I had a feeling deep in my gut that something would go wrong but I couldn't figure out what. In between the first band's set and prior to Royal Coda going on my husband went into the merch line to cop my the most amazing DGD tour merch ever that was JoJo inspired!!! They ran out of the color scheme I had wanted but honestly totally ok, I'm grateful I was able to get anything at all because they had sold out.
After Royal Coda's set the atmosphere in the pit totally changed as DGD was setting up, it almost became menacing kinda like Pitu's aura from HxH. They played their first song and the pit got absolutley insane, I felt myself being jolted and thrown around with little ability to breathe but I told myself "you're ok, your husband is here to protect you, everything is fine". But then the next song came on and my husband fot ruthlessly sucked into the pit and I lost site of him. I started to panic but decided I would just focus on the music as he would eventually find his way back but then suddenly I felt myself being crushed by the people behind me. Then I felt someone grab my waist firmly and I automatically thought my husband had found his way back to my but those thoughts dropped when I felt the person press their junk against me and I noticed they weren't wearing a wedding band. I immediatley started to panic and tried so hard to push him off of me but he kept his grasp firm and the pit continued to push me around. I felt myself start to black out because 1) I literally could not breathe at all, I suffer from pretty severe asthma and the pit had just so many bodies in it making it feel like at least 100+ degrees 2) my body just shuts down when I process that something traumatic has/is happening to me. The pit surged and jumbled up the crowd again and the guy was gone (I don't even know what he looked like) and I finally gained sight of my husband. I was shaking so bad and still struggling to breathe. How did no one see what was happening to me? How can people be so unaware of their surroundings?
Once my husband was back next to me I told him we needed to go, I did not want to be there anymore, I had to get out. I felt like I was dying. He couldn't understand me or hear me because our ears were messed up from how loud everythhing was but he finally understood. Trying to leave was an absolute nightmare. I had to push us through crowds of sweaty people (mainly men) who REFUSED to budge even an inch so we could get by. The walk back to the car was very quiet, I was still trying to process and understand what had just happened to me. When we were finally about to go in our car I told my husband what had happened. He was incredibly distraught and blamed himself for not being there. I wish he could understand that its not his fault and not beat himself over it.
Unfortunately this was not my first experience being s*xually assaulted so all things considering I am handling it well... I think. I deleted all my social media apps and am not sure on when I plan on returning to them. I will continue to use my Neocities though as my private little sanctuary but want to spend the next few weeks focusing on myself and healing.
Sometimes I feel like life wants me to kms so bad and I will occasionally entertain the intrusive thoughts but I want to emerge from this even stronger.
My primary goal for the remainder of the year is to get super strong so I can kick anyone's butt who tries to mess with me.
🎀August 1, 2022🎀
Yesterday was karage's 1st burfdai so we threw her a burfdai pawty!!! We got lil sparkly blue cowboy hats since blue is tooootally her color, a mini dinasaur pinata, a bunch of balloons/presents for her and made a chimken & lobster pate kitty cake!
Her lil stance totally kills me in that picture, she truly is just too stinkin adorable (─‿‿─)♡
We ate at our favorite french restaurant, then visited our fav french bakery and got a bunch of delicious freshly baked goods. Later in the evening we went to watch Nope, Jordan Peele's new sci-fi thriller movie, and my goodness there were definetley some hauntingly horrifying visuals and sounds. This year has blessed us with some pretty good horror films like X, Black Phone, Fresh and Hellbender.
Some bad news... ( ╥ω╥ ) Our application got rejected for Penne for a number of reasons. She apparently needed a more calm setting with preferbly no kittens as she doesn't get along with them and well.. we have 3 lol. ALSO I am SO pissed because the lady conducting the interview called out vet and out vet said they had no record of our pets!!! Like what do you MEAAAAN!!! We literally spent almost $300 on Karage a few weeks ago and Tink has been going there for 4+ years.
🎀July 29, 2022🎀
Some bad news... ( ╥ω╥ )
Our application got rejected for Penne for a number of reasons. She apparently needed a more calm setting with preferbly no kittens as she doesn't get along with them and well.. we have 3 lol. ALSO I am SO pissed because the lady conducting the interview called out vet and out vet said they had no record of our pets!!! Like what do you MEAAAAN!!! We literally spent almost $300 on Karage a few weeks ago and Tink has been going there for 4+ years.Apparently its frowned upon to take your cats out in a stroller or even for leashed walks wtf??? I guess if its not meant to be it isn't, but at least it brings me great comfort that they are very thurough with the adoption process and Penne will go to the furever home that she deserves.
Besides that, I am INSANELY pumped for the DGD concert in exactly a week, they are so fucking amazing live and to this day their show back in 2020??? (idr tbh but it was precovid, seems like eons ago) is the best performance I've been to. Been boping this single they released from their newest album which just dropped non-STOP! I will say though that I am a smidge stressed trying to figure out what outfit/overall vibe I want to wear so I gotta do some srs planning this weekend urggg ┐(￣～￣)┌
🎀July 28, 2022🎀
My husband and I visited our local cat cafe to see one of their newest additions, a beautiful 3 year old white kitty named Penne with the most beautiful jade green eyes. She ended up being such an incredibly sweet girl and yet she has been returned to the shelter twice! Her prior owner left Penne with her grandma while on holiday AND NEVER CAME BACK!!!! I can't even stomach that people can be so evil to just abandon their pet just like that... I would do anything and everything for my babies. Her grandma took care of Penne until she unfortunately had to go under hospice care which is how she ended up back in the shelter. We submitted our application and have our phone interview with the manager of the location tomorrow so fingers crossed! Would absolutely love to give this sweet angel the furever home she deserves. Please send us good vibes that we get approved! (≈ㅇᆽㅇ≈)♡
🎀July 22, 2022🎀
Mentally and physically so exhausted T-T
Whoever designed the 5 day work week... if I ever figure out how to make a time machine I'm coming for you first.(ﾒ￣▽￣)︻┳═一
🎀July 21, 2022🎀
Brain go purrrrr.
My husband bought me Stray on the Playstation 4 and... obsessed is an understatement (♡°▽°♡). I haven't gamed outside of my silly little mobile games for quite a while so this was such a nice breathe of fresh air. Anything to do with cats and I am THERE, say LESS! I literally played the game for amost 12 hours straight yesterday and the only reason why I stopped was because my controller died (ಥ﹏ಥ) . We also made homemade mexican pizza and it was life changing tbh.